How to Help Kids With NO Confidence Believe in Themselves
“Be confident!” How many times has that that word been used during sports? From coaches, parents, team members. Confidence is talked about like it is a cure-all for any nerves or uncertainty an athlete is dealing with. I remember growing up and facing many situations where I was nervous, scared, and totally unsure of myself. “You have to be more confident.” That was the phrase I heard over and over.
But, it didn’t do much good. There is a reason for that, and it is a secret truth I’m going to share about confidence. Are you ready? Here it is: You don’t need it! You don’t need confidence to succeed.
Think about this: confidence can only really come from past success. Before that, how do winners win? How is it that people who are trying something unfamiliar and new, can still end up being successful? It’s not confidence. It is being determined and motivated. THAT is the secret. Sure, confidence will come later, and certainly makes a difference. But, it is not the cure-all that people make it out to be.
As I’m writing this, I have a 2-year old daughter. She is walking, running, and experiencing all that she can take in at her age. However, she did not learn to walk or run because of her confidence. She couldn’t even comprehend that concept. She simply saw adults walk, wanted to do it to, and then was determined to do it. Now she can walk without even thinking about it. But, all it took in the beginning was determination, focus, and motivation.
Most athletes I work with still want that feeling of certainty.
Here is one of my tips for building up that feeling of confidence, even if you have none.
Get yourself a notebook and keep a journal. A confidence journal. To start off, take some time and write down all the achievements you can think of that you have had over your life. It doesn’t matter what they are, only that they are meaningful to you. The more connection and emotion to the successful event, the better.
For instance, I got chosen to be in a musical when I was in high school. Musicals really aren’t my thing, and I honestly just tried out on a dare. But, the decisions came out I was actually chosen for a part. Not only did I go through with the full production, but I was actually nominated for an award! Now, that is a pretty silly thing for a lot of people to hear, and it has nothing really to do with sports, but it was an achievement and success that I am able to look back on. Another example, I won a spelling B when I was in Third Grade.
Write down all the things you can think of where you were successful and achieved something. write down things within your sport, and outside of sports. Take some time and read through the list, really taking in the thoughts and emotions from those moments. You now have an incredible reference point for realizing how successful and special you are! Try and read through it every day. Also, add to it as you experience other successes. You’ll see very quickly how well this puts you in a confident frame of mind.
As a Mental Toughness Trainer, I specialize in working with young athletes
This is just one of the techniques I teach my athletes when working with them. If you’ve found this helpful, take a look around and considering setting up a free call. We can talk about what you have going and see if working together on things like this would supercharge your mental game.
Gregg Pruett – The Mental Toughness Trainer
Columbus, OH
